Christiane F.

Christiane F.     

Sie hat das Buch "Wir Kinder vom Bahnhofzoo" geschrieben und war eine sehr lange Zeit drogenabhšngig. Darum geht es auch in dem Buch. Das Buch handelt nicht nur Łber Drogen, sondern sie erzšhlt richtig Łber ihr Leben. Ich empfehle jedem das Buch zu lesen. Es ist wirklich super.

In 1999 Christiane was interviewed for the newspaper BZ Berlin.
Here are the translated articles .. thanks to Setya! 

March 1999
What happened with Christiane F?

She is now living as a single mum in Berlin.

 
 
She has found a perfect life in NeukŲlln. The city is poor but honest. Christiane F is one of the most famous junkies inGermany. She has been a happy mother for 2 years. She has had to fight for her child, as life is not easy. Finding money to raise her child is also a problem. But the smile from her child makes her the happiest mum in the world. That smile is the most important thing in her life.
The father isnít living with them. He was ten years younger and couldnít deal with the responsibility of a child. Christiane is not angry Ė she understands it completely. He has problems with telling his parents. He has also had troubles finding a job.
Christiane is scared that people want to kidnap her little boy. A lot of people think that she is very rich, which she is not. Nowadays she lives in a small apartment. She is just an ordinary person who lives in Berlin.
 
Schau her, das ist mein neues Leben.
 
She was a famous junkie. Millions of people were shocked by her story. 20 years later, drugs and prostitution are in the past. Nowadays she warns people of it. The girl from Bahnhof Zoo has found luck. With her little son, Jan-Niklas she lives in a small apartment in NeukŲlln.
Christiane still recieves reactions. She thinks it is fascinating, but also scary. She even receives reactions from men who want to marry her. Last time a rich man asked her to marry him she said no. Years ago she would have said yes because of his money. But she has learnt from those times.
In 1995 she did the Polamidon Programme. Christiane tried to get clean, but didnít become totally clean until the birth of her son in 1996.
The girl who seemed to have no future has made plans. She wants to write a second book, without a ghostwriter. She wants to give her son a great future. Everybody thinks she is incredibly rich, which she is not. She doesnít want to have support from the state, she wants to handle life herself.
Jan-Niklas has had some tests because of her past, but everything seems to be ok with him. For her sonís future she has kept money (30 000 marks). So she can use that to buy a car or for his school.
Does she want to protect her son against drugs? She has thought about it a lot. As soon as Jan-Niklas can read, she will let him read her book. She will give her son a lot of love and respect. That is all one can do, she thinks. It looks like Christiane F has made it.
In a couple of weeks she will be totally clean. Christiane F has a future.
 
 
From a television interview in 1993:
Christiane has said that she wants to do something about the drug problem in Germany. Because there is no help for junkies in Berlin, only prison. She receives a lot of fan-mail. She has accepted this as part of her life. She has visited fans who have photos of her on their walls. She feels responsible for that, and doesnít like the fact that fans want to be like her. Christiane has said that you can never force a junkie to become clean Ė they can only make it if they really want to
1 Interview 2:

Christiane F - the real story

from Brazilian magazine Manchete
sourced from German magazine Stern, 1984

by Birgit Lahann
Photos by Gerd Krug and Klaus Meyer-Andersen

This article is translated from German to Portuguese to English. Thanks to Evan and WLoveDB for the translation and the scans... and letting me print the article from teenage wildlife
also, some of the scans are from Roberta .. thanks!


When she was 13 years old, she was a junkie and a hooker. The book about her life was hailed as a salute to freedom. But the real Christiane F., 10 years later, is a living example of the absence of thoughts and horizons that drugs can take a human being. Foolish, idiotic, in this interview she is a living example: not for what she says, but for what she doesnít know to say.

 

The apartment, which is in an old building, has 3 rooms and belongs to Christiane Felscherinow, better known as Christiane F. In the living-room there is a leather sofa, a mattress and a black coffin. In one of the rooms, a rope stretches from end to end and there are rumpled clothes everywhere. The French Bully Claude and a doberman puppy occupy the other room, covered by newspapers and soaked with urine. He attempts to fuck with the puppy, and from time to time I have to separate them.

In a few days , Christiane F. will turn 23 years old (she was born May 20, 1962). She became the symbol of a junkie generation. At 12, she took hashish; at 13 heroin and at 14 she got into the Bahnhof Zoo gang, a famous heavy-crowd from Berlin. But she survived. Then she got over the suffering and the addicts.

The German magazine Stern published the series ĎWir kinder von Bahnhof Zooí (We, children from Bahnhof Zoo), and it became a best-seller book, selling millions of copies.

Later she started to learn Accounting in a small city in the north of Germany. But she dropped out. "After all, you are only exploited as an apprentice . I had the impression I knew everything after 6 months." She tried to be a singer and even took part in a bad film for self-promotion, playing the role of a go-go girl. And then, she travelled aimlessly around the world. When they filmed the screenplay about her life, she worked as an advisor. And the film became a success as well, paying millions of marks.

Then nothing was heard of her until one year ago (1983) when she was arrested during a blitz in the apartment of a heroin-dealer and accused of "acquisition of heroin for self-consumption". Last week she was sentenced.


Interview

M: Christiane, you were condemned to pay a fine of 3000 marks for having being caught with heroin. Did the judgement surprise you?

CF: No, I knew already. The Judge and the lawyers know in advance what the results will be.

M: Your lawyer took a double to the Court for you so you wouldn't be recognized. You entered immediately following ...

CF: And they jumped on us. I got more upset with the journalists. For them, the person is just a piece of merchandise.

M: You declared in the Court that you would never take heroin again, that would have been the last time...

CF: You can see what they wrote. I didnít say that. I canít know this now, and will be embarrassed if happens again. And then there would be another scandal, but I wonít stay in Germany anymore, Iíll leave. 

M: And where do you want to go, then?

CF: Ah, maybe Italy.

M: And why Italy?

CF: There the life is very happy, everybody speaks at the same time and it amuses me.

M:Why did you have this relapse?

CF: I donít know. Itís the chance. When we know the sensation we have with heroin, we never forget. It's so good...

M: And ends in catastrophe. You have been through all this: dependency, to get money, robbing, prostitution. And two of your friends died because of the heroin.

CF: Prostitution was the worst thing, and this Iíll never do again. After all, now I am older.

M: Even though you let yourself fall back again...

CF: Well, I preferred to take heroin than drink alcohol. There isnít a worse drug than alcohol. Even the heroin addicted donít get ruined as much as the alcoholics.

M: But with the heroin, the fall is faster.

CF: Well, my relapse didnít damage me. I didnít change socially.

M: But you met up again with the police.

CF: Ah, the policemen. The ones who took us under arrest, were of my age. They were horribly rude. Locked us with handcuffs like dogs locked in kennels. And we couldnít talk. And they pulled out our cigarettes packs.

M: And whilst they inspected the drugs-dealer apartment?

CF: No. They did it while we were outside. Inside they needed lots of calm to throw everything on the ground. They messed up everything.

M: This was exactly one year ago. Since then, havenít you feet the need to go back to heroin again?

CF: No, Iím clean.

M: Have you been to Bahnhof Zoo?

CF: Bahnhof Zoo is a very dear place. The scene changes constantly. Bahnhof Zoo is everywhere. At that time, we were there and after nobody else. I donít feel any urge to cry when I walk through there.

M: You were sort of a Joan Díarc of the drugs scenery in the 80ís.You survived and got over. Yet you never felt any compulsion to help the drug addicted?

CF:No, I have never felt responsible for the others. Each one must know what they are doing.

M: Have you never seen yourself as an idol, a symbol of hope to the desperate?

CF: I always found it funny to read this in the newspapers. I never felt like an idol. That was another person.

M: That person, the famous Christiane F., was invited by the boss of Diogenes Publishing, from Zurich, for 8 weeks. Like a exhibit piece in high society?

CF: I felt accepted already. Anna Keel, Daniel Keelís wife, owner of the publishing company, phoned me in Berlin inviting me to go to Zurich. After one year, I went there. They treated me like a daughter. I almost called them "mommy and daddy".

M: And mommy and daddy asked anything of you?

CF: Their two children were taking a cultural program in which I had to participate as well. 

M: How did they do that? Did they control you?

CF: Yes, during the dinner.

M: And how was the program?

CF: It started already in Berlin, when Anna took me. Then I had to go with her to watch Tchekovís "The Three Sisters" play, and it was really cool. The scenery had real trees . It lasted 4 hours...

M: And in Zurich?

CF: There I had to go to the theatre as well. I had to watch something typically Swiss. But it was spoken in German. I went to see "The Naked Craziness". Horrible. It was a scene with several doors, where people kept coming in and out. Tchekov at least was sort of glad. This I know because I have his books.

M: And what else was included in the Swiss cultural program?

CF: Well, we went to Rome and met Fellini. We saw him filming and later we had a lunch in Cinnecittŗ.

M: And in which language did you speak?

CF: In English. But I would like very much to learn Italian.

M: And why donít you learn?

CF: I donít have the time.

M: Donít you have time? But you donít even work! You should have time enough for study.

CF: I should think about that. But to study alone in home... I just canít. I always need someone to push me. Iím lazy.

M:In Zurich you also met the famous writer Friederich Duerrenmatt ?

CF: I didnít want to know him. I detest him because of the readings at school.

M: How many times did you read your book Christiane F.?

CF: Perhaps around 3 times. I always tried to think that the girl on the book was not me. I also wanted to know why the others liked the book so much.

M: And which other books do you like?

CF: The Grosskotz, from Mathias Nolte. And Cream Train, from Andrea Carlo. These are my favorites.

M: Now you are back again to Berlin, without the family support. But you donít live alone. You brought a friend from Zurich, a Palestine man from Israel.

CF: Samir will go away soon. For me, it's still difficult to find a boyfriend. Most of them let themselves be ordered around by me. When they start to do whatever I want, then I stop respecting them. And besides, look at this one. Smokes 4 packs of cigarettes per day. Impossible. I myself smoke 4 packs already! This is too much. And it irritates me very much when someone shaves with the tap left on, because this is a waste. Or when someone wastes a half of bottle of detergent to wash one cup. The products that clean the house pollute the environment as much as the industry.

M: Are you now a Ďgreení?

CF: Unfortunately, the Ďgreensí are not professionals, since they fight among themselves. Besides, anyone would be scared of someone with a beard.

M: Quite bourgeois preconceptions...

CF: But this way they donít get enough votes.

M: Have you ever conversed with the Ďgreensí?

CF: No, I detest conversations.

M: What is more interesting than conversations?

CF: Watching television, preferably lying in bed. I canít stand reading newspapers. In music, nothing interests me. If the crowds go to Tina Turner, I donít have to go too. I prefer amateur bands.

M: Do you listen to your walkman?

CF: It was stolen, like everything. I was robbed by a girl friend. Bitch. She took everything. Cosmetics, clothes, cups and dishes, and 700 marks. Iíd rather not have money anymore. I donít know how to handle money, Iím too good. I live in the wrong world, with wrong friends. But I canít change anything.

M: Donít you have anyone who you could call to help you, if you are not okay ?

CF: No.

M: How about your mother?

CF: I donít know what to say to my mother.

M: Arenít you upset for giving up your studies?

CF: No. Daniel Keel dropped out as well. Study is old-fashioned. We learn everything in 6 months and then we are exploited.

M: Are you at least so old- fashioned to cook for yourself?

CF: I donít know how to cook, and if there isnít anything ready, I donít eat.

M: Is there any kind of woman you would like to be?

CF: (long pause). I think I am not that bad. 

M: So, donít you have any plans?

CF: When I make plans and they fail, I get depressed. Thatís why I donít have wishes or dreams.

M: How do you imagine tomorrow?

CF: I donít schedule anything with anyone with a period of time longer than one week.

M: How about vacations?

CF: When I want to travel, then I buy the ticket and go.

M: So you just came from a peaceful familiar life in Switzerland, back to the awful Germany...

CF: When we came from Zurich, we had to make a change of planes in Hannover. I was wearing a pink costume and a red scarf and I was carrying the luggage. Everybody looked stunned.

M: ... from Christiane, the oppressed ...

CF - And I got furious and my boyfriend told me to take off the scarf. But I refused, because I want the people to be even more stunned.

M: And what do they make of it?

CF: I took a long time trying to educate them. In the end, I gave up. And, when I insist, I try to dumbfound them, which they accept passively. I donít like people anymore.

M: You donít like to be alone, though.

CF: I hate it. When my boyfriend goes back to Israel, Iíll call to someone come here live with me.

M: Afraid of loneliness? Or what else?

CF: Well, I have a fear of trains. I always think that when I die, it will be under a train.

M: You received a lot of money with your book and bought this apartment. Where is the rest of the money? And how much there is here in this coffin?

CF: No, there I have all my bills.

M: So you are broke at the moment?

CF: I am bankrupt. I have to pay 65% of it in taxes...

M: ... Which you forgot to do.

CF: And when money comes in, it goes straight to the Public Treasury. Even my telephone is cut off. I didnít pay the joint ownership and other things...

M: And how do you want to make money in the future?

CF: I canít imagine that work is a pleasure. I always feel so bad when someone asks me what do I want to do for work. How people look without comprehension when we say that we donít work. Canít see that friends live off friends. Probably I am not yet mature enough to know what I want.

M: But what would you like to do?

CF: I actually want to have a private sanctuary for animals. But my friends are against it. They say I shouldnít throw away my intelligence in such thing. I should do something that could change the world.

Interview3:

 

Ich bin so sŁchtig



[Neue Suchanfrage] [Weitere Artikel vom 17.02.1996]
thanks to Marc for finding this interview, sending it to me and translating it!


Christiane F. from Berlin Zoo is living in NeukŲlln. She now has a dog.

What has a holy Indian cow to do with the drugscene from Bahnhof Zoo?
Nothing, except that she's looking for something to eat (Just like the cows)


We children of the Zoo station. .. it was the authors that put those words into the book Christiane F.


Christiane erases the tears of laughing out of her eyes, she's turning her head and light a cigarette. It was something! she said. It was not clear if she meant the story of the cow or what the cow had eaten. A teen life in a book, a life with heroin at Bahnhof Zoo between kids and the periods of trying to be clean. All in the '70s.


The book which was composed through recordings with Christiane is sold over the world (about 3 million). Christiane received 1 million Marks. Sometimes she wished it never was there (The money). She always has money for a shot.


From the money she earned by the book, she bought a house of her own in Neukolln. Soon she's not feeling well. She's of the opinion that others people in the house can not cope with the press and they want Christiane to leave. That's why she's moving to another house nearby.


In the kitchen there's the bicycle. Her bathroom is very small. It's difficult to turn around there. From outside you can view the whole room as if she's living in a house of glass. She's leaving soon.


Now there are children who found her and knock at the door. they're yelling: Christiane, Christiane and sometimes they rang the bell and ask if everything is true (what it says in the book).


She was treated like Hollywood star and now after 20 years, Christiane is of the opinion that maybe without the book, her life would have developed in a different way. When you don't have a private life, it's difficult to stay out of drugs she said.


She thinks that if she had talked to the papers, yes or no it would have made no difference. They write what they want. On television they showed the mattress lying on the floor as if nobody has a mattress on the floor. Also her underwear(?) lying on the stairs was filmed.


Christiane became a drug expert. She's invited to talkshows, papers and there's a movie "Wir Kinder von Bahnhof Zoo" in 1981.


Difficult to explain: Many time she was treated false. During the Spiegel movie, she had nothing to say. The BRAVO youth paper once made a report when they all were still in bed. BRAVO was pleased with that. They made a mess of the mattress and asked if it could stay that way.


Christiane thinks that the press stinks and they created a different Christiane. It's sometimes difficult to say who was the real Christiane.


By her being addicted she earned more money than other junkies do at the Zoo scene. It's by her addiction that she became famous.


In 1985 she met Anna Keel, Fellini, Loriot and Durrenmatt.


After some time Christiane fell back to drugs. The papers said she was not intelligent enough to hang out with those people. She liked Fellini and Loriot. She could talk to them about world issues.


At 33 she still had the junkie image and she didn't like that. At 13 she began with heroin and it changes her live. It was because of the unknown and she wanted to be accepted by her friends. She lived with her parents in Gropiusstadt. At age of 15 she looked for men at the Kurfurstenstrasse to earn some money for the shot. In the beginning it was just a game for her. After a while she felt mentally empty and her body was in chaos.


Again and again she tried to quit heroin. Her father locked her up at home to prevent her from using it. Her mother sent her to her grandmother in Northern Germany. She went back to school and learned to become a book keeper.

 
Then she met Alexander Hacke who was a member of Einsturzende Neubauten, a rock band. She lived with him in Hamburg and even made a punklike record which was sung backwards (Ich bin so suchtig...I'm so addicted). Again she had the junkie image.


a little while later she fell back on drugs again. Her friend left her and it was a most difficult time for her! She went back to the kurfursterstrasse. She thought: When you fall back....do it right!


When she's saying this she's first thinking to herself for about 30 seconds. Suddenly a huge (?) appears which belongs to a guy at the bar. She found no one and light a cigarette. I always see her, Christiane said, but can't remember who she is.


She could choose between a jail and a therapy.


When she came out of jail, she went to Greece. There, she met Panagiotis. She lived with him for 6 years. After this period she went back to Berlin. Then she felt alone. Most of her friends were gone. Again she fell back.


Christiane becomes a little irritated in the bar. Now she wonders with her dog though Kreuzberg. The dog is walking like an old man. Christiane is treating him like a little kid. She's smoking. She's greeting another person with a dog. This is the place where she lives. She always thought of it in Greece, she said.


Today, Christiane takes Methadone. Together with 1300 other adicted people in Berlin. Every day she gets her medicine from the doctor. Once a week she have to collect urine to see that's she's not using any other drug. She thought for years she can make it on her own, she said. Now she knows better.


Physically she's doing well now, except for the fact that sometimes she has bad dreams. In her dream, she wants to take a shot but can't find a vein. Another problem is how to spend your day.


Twice a week she met friends at Bahnhof Zoo. You can't tell there is a former prositute and adict.


Christiane is strong, lost two teeth which she shows us proudly.


Mensch, I know him, she suddenly said and she's greeting a man. He once was a customer of Christiane.


He never would fuck me, she says and laughs. Excuse me for my language. At the end of the Jebenstrasse she sees an old man and a young one together. Why are they together, she wonders. On the other side of the street she sees men with their hands in their pockets. There you can buy dope, 10 grams for 25 Marks.


At the station kiosk there's a couple with a dog. They must sell pills, i'm sure, she says. Recently they asked her to buy some, but Christiane said: I'm clean!


Then she reached out for a little bottle of Apfelkorn for her way back. It warms me up ,she says to Chico (the dog). The dog is walking to people who are taking Polamidon. It's a junkie-dog she said. The dog can smell it.



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